I am slowly coming off of a LONG depression.
Yesterday, as I cleaned off the bathroom counter for the first time in several months, I found myself in a familiar place: wondering why it was so hard to do anything other than live like this for so very long.
It was a weekend of catching up for us: laundry, dishes, long-needed chores like cleaning the master bathroom countertop, sewing up stuffed animals long needing attention.
I’d like to say coming out of depression is all good news. Jenny Lawson talks about this in her book Broken, which I am reading: it is not all roses. Jenny is right in that depression is beyond sadness, it is a type of numbness. Coming out of depression means remembering and feeling full-force all kinds of different emotions, not just happiness and contentment.
For me, this means remembering anger and despair. And, feeling them full-force. Sometimes, this means tantrums.
Jared says I was overdue for the one that happened Saturday morning. It was an all-over terrible full-body experience and I spent the rest of the day recovering on Saturday.
I am interested in having a clean and neat house again, which probably means the television will be on HGTV whenever the television is on. I have a lot of photography and business education online material to get through, stuff that I have been meaning to study for months now. Now, it’s time to find the discipline to make myself do it.
I’ve found the key so far is to just take short chunks of time and concentrate on one thing. Yesterday, we got a lot done in Jared’s office just by cleaning off the extraneous papers and schoolwork and keeping the shredder going. Today will be finishing up some laundry, wiping down the kitchen counters, and paying some attention and love to the first floor floors.
Happy Monday, Everyone!