I’ve been introspective since my last post, remembering my surgery and how I’ve felt about it. Nowadays, I realize exactly what a brave little girl I was, without even knowing it. And as for how I feel about the fusion and my lack of flexibility…it is what it is and there are much more important things on which to concentrate my energy.
Just as I have journals now, I kept a diary when I was little. I got my first one in fourth grade. By the time I wrote the entry I’m about to share, which I wrote after seventh grade, I was well used to writing my thoughts. Here’s what I thought about having surgery, just days before I went under the knife. I was 13 years old.
“It’s 5 days until my life changes forever. That’s because in 5 days I am having scoliosis surgery. I have already given 3 pints of my own blood, so that if I need blood during surgery they can give me my own blood. Nanny, Daddy, and Mama have given 1 pint each for me, too.
“I’m not really scared, but that’s because I have a good doctor. Yesterday I went to get this test done that they will also do during surgery. In all, I had 12 wires connected to me. The test monitored my spinal cord. It helps because it will help keep the doctor from hurting my spinal cord. The test makes my toes twitch. It’s a good thing there’s no needles involved. I had a wire coming from my forehead, my earlobes, on top of my head, 2 under my knees, and 2 on each foot. I’m going to have a lot of tubes coming out of me, too. I’m going to have an IV, a catheter (yuck!), a tube coming out of my neck, a tube coming out of my side for drainage, a tube coming out of my nose, and I can’t think of any more. That is 6 tubes.”
I’d forgotten about the tube coming from my nose. Post-surgery, this green stuff I can only assume was stomach acid kept coming out of it for days, before I was eating much. And it burned like the devil as it came up. TMI, I know.
Going down memory lane like this certainly reminds me to be grateful for all I have, especially my life.