Speaking My Dreams…

yours truly in 1986 or 1987, probably

Dreaming was so much simpler when I was a little girl.  I could say, “I want to be a singer,” and then, “I want to be an artist,” and then, “I want to be ‘insert-dream-job-of-the-week’ here.”  For the most part, people just smiled and said that I could do whatever I wanted to when I grew up.

But now, I’m a grown-up with grown-up responsibilities.  I have two children that need a place to live and food to eat.  We have a mortgage.  And debt.  Though I’ve got help in supporting my family since I qualified for disability, it’s still tough making ends meet.

Though, disability does have its perks.  How many people get to call themselves full-time bloggers?  Not many I know personally, for sure!

Serious dreaming is afoot in our household.  I can’t speak to Jared’s dreams right now because, well, they’re his dreams to share with the world and quite frankly, they’re not well-developed enough for us to say a whole lot about them except that he’s thinking about making some serious changes.  As far as my dreams:  what I can say is that I love writing and at the end of a long day of discussion with Jared and with others, I think I’ve decided it’s time to go to graduate school.  While drafting this post, in fact, as it sat in the back of my many open tabs, I researched several options settled on my first favorite option to apply for:  an MFA program in writing, close to home.  So, I completed the demographics portion of an application tonight.  (!!) Even if nothing comes of it, it’s fun to dream.  My position is unique right now because I’ve decided it’s useless to pin myself down to a graduate program that lines me up for a specific career.  I have a hard time holding down a job, so there’s no point in thinking that fact may change by the time I finish a two- or three-year program.  But I would like to hone my writing skills and I think the only way that is going to happen is in some kind of academic setting.

We’ll see if anything comes of it, or if my mood toward the subject has changed completely by next week.  Thankfully, I have the luxury of changing my mind.

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