I believe it, I really do. I have to start doing things before I will feel like doing them.
At the Local Friendly Mental Ward, it was drilled and drilled in us that “Action Before Motivation” will make us feel better.
Avoiding is so much easier.
Action Before Motivation is so much easier said than done.
Last week was a total wash; the only things I did on my schedule was make it to my therapy appointments and get Be-Bop off the bus each day. This week will not be like that because I’m determined to make my week better. Besides, it’s Thanksgiving, which has the potential to make the week even more stressful and it’s all the more important to get back into a good mindset.
I’m still stressed about the job hunt. That’s at the root of all my avoidance this week. That will be remedied soon, I hope, though it’s looking like it may not be today.
So I’ve avoided and avoided. All week. No chores got done. Most of the week, I was in bed. Thank goodness I was ahead on everything and the house was pretty much immaculate the day I went into this tailspin. Otherwise, it would have been really bad.
Today has been moderately better, but only because J has taken the day off to spend it with me and to provide moral support when or if the agency representative shows up.
But today, part of the yoga routine got done. A decent breakfast was had by all before I went back into a minor avoidance nap. Dishes are going, laundry is going, and I will attack the floor here before too long. So all in all, it’s not a bad start to the week.
I’m up to 20 mg on my Viibryd. I think it is finally helping a little bit, but it’s hard to say.
Did some housekeeping at A Rainbow Tulip today and I feel much, much better about the business end of things. Avoidance in business is just silliness, I remember now. But I take my business so personally, and when my personal stuff is messed up, my business stuff gets messed up too.
What I really want is for A Rainbow Tulip to take off like crazy. I really just want to work from home, being self-employed. I know, it’s a pipe dream. I think my family thinks I’m just wasting money. But it can be done, it really can. Then, I want to be a community volunteer. That’s where my heart lies. I’ve wanted to do that since I worked for a non-profit in Atlanta, in college.
Something will work out. It always does.