I’m So Bipolar

So…I ditched one of my groups yesterday.  I can go back if  I feel like it at any point, but I told the facilitator not to expect me back.  Can’t say much about it, suffice it to say that I feel like things are going relatively well with my treatment, I am not psychotic, and I am not depressed.  That’s what I know.  I know I have lots of work to do.  But, J and I are in therapy together and it’s going well, I have individual therapy, and I do have one other group.  And then there’s my pdoc.  So, my care is still being well-managed.  I can go back to the group I ditched if I feel the need, until next Christmas.

School is going well thus far.  Work is fine.  Boys were yummy-clingy tonight.  There really isn’t a lot to write about.  Maybe that’s a problem?  I write volumes and volumes when I’m depressed.  That’s definitely how I got 10 journals going at the same time.  But when I’m relatively stable, I don’t have much to say.

Okay, so there is baby fever.  I know, I know.  Who would have ever guessed it?  One simple change in birth control methods and BAM!  I have baby fever all over again.  No worries, people…  there won’t be additional babies in this household for a really long time, if ever.  We have to be financially solvent.  I have to be stable for a long time.  I have to have a job again.  We have to have the OK of my pdoc, who’s likely to flip out and say, “Are you crazy?”  And then, there’s the BIG problem of…we’ve already gotten rid of all our baby stuff.  But…BABY FEVER…We have two beautiful boys.  I used to gawk at people who wanted a third baby when I was struggling to have even one.  Now, I kind of get it.  J says he would cave and we would have one right now if we could be positive it would be a girl.  Alas, the odds are against us…But, BABY FEVER….There are so many logistical nightmares that come up when contemplating a third baby.  My therapists take summarized, surprisingly…it’s a “happy problem.”

Yeah, so that’s been my week.  I haven’t worked on jewelry stuff at all, haven’t had time between other job and school.  Need to make about ten more pieces to have a decent collection.  Maybe I’ll get to it soon.

While I’m on a life-purging streak, I also purged my Facebook friends list.  I know, it’s not a nice thing to do.  If you found you didn’t make the cut, I’m sorry.  Reality is, I only cut people I never talk to and don’t think I’ll ever talk to.  I used to think Facebook was all about keeping in touch with people from the past forever.  Now, I’m coming to terms with the fact that it just isn’t the case.

Happy Friday night, folks.  Have a  good weekend!


One response to “I’m So Bipolar”

  1. hi,

    you write about nothing much going on
    but really there is lots going on
    maybe it just isn’t drama
    but that is OK too

    let yourself feel just that
    and know that I am like that as well
    so at least we are a club…haha

    I sense something inside your words that compells me to want to read more of them and to get to know you.
    is that wrong?

    random thoughts are very cool
    I love mine
    I will share some with you – if you like???

    have a day that you want to have…
    if you want to have a very productive day- go for it!
    if you want to have a melancholic day- sit and daydream

    just be

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