Today is a fort kind of day. I think I mentioned it before; I may not have. I have a grown-up woman style fort in my house; we turned our bedroom closet into my fort. I’ve got most of my favorite books, my art and beading supplies, and a very Caroline-comfy day bed kind of set-up complete with a canopy, some of my favorite dolls from my childhood, and a couple of random family pictures and my journaling supplies. I’ve written some empowering words all over the walls in calming colors. It’s my peaceful, sacred spot. I love it. I’ve got the CR-48 in here and I’m writing in the fort.
J read a statement in church today that I wrote about a class we took last year. His reading of my words out loud embarrassed the hell out of me. I did not feel empowered, though there was a good response about interest in the class for this year (which J attributed to my words, though I don’t think it had anything to do with that).
I mentally explored some things from my past last night in an effort to help a friend and that experience sent me to my fort last night. Did I mention the fort is also my hiding place from the world? It is.
So…I’ve been accepted to the local technical school for a certificate program. A new career path. It’s not exactly exciting like some of the graduate programs I have considered and I haven’t completely laid those dreams aside. But now is the time to be practical about my skills, abilities, and where I’m at in my life. There is time for progressively more responsible jobs later. I need small successes right now that will build my self-confidence, which is nil right now. I think this program and job track could provide that confidence boost. And right now, I have two young children who need structure to their day, we’ve found that daycare provides that structure well, and it takes money to do that. It also takes money to buy my beading supplies and support the lifestyle that J and I both would like to have. So, I think I’ve found a path that I could enjoy, well within my skill level, that would greatly increase the money flow in this house when I’ve finished the program and passed a couple of certification exams. Go me. I got accepted to a school.
I hear J struggling with Stella. He said he could handle her, but I have a hard time relaxing when I hear her. She has so much pent up energy when she doesn’t get lengthy walks about 3 times a day. She has the capacity to be a big bulldozer when she wants to be rough.
Enough blogging for now. Time to use the fort for the purpose for which it was intended. Creative-relaxation-me time.