>Crawling Toward Light


I found out when I went back to partial that Post Traumatic Stress Disorder was added to my Bipolar diagnosis.  I’ve suspected I had PTSD for years, good to have my professional confirm it.

I’m not finishing partial again.  I already graduated from that program once. I’m more committed than ever to my treatment, but sitting through six more weeks of group therapy in that particular setting just will not work.  I’ve seen enough of other people’s crazy.  I get lost easily in other people’s crazy.  I need to focus on dealing with my own crazy.

Crazy is not the word for it.  I know I’m not crazy.  I just sit around on the edge of pins and needles all the time, waiting for something catastrophic to happen.  Every once in a while, something does happen and when something happens, I shut down to varying degrees.  I want to train my brain to look for the good, happy things.  I want to learn to enjoy simplicity.

I did learn a few healthy coping techniques at Willowbrooke.  Strategy 1:  Goal for the day.

Goal for the day for Monday, May 17, 2010:  to remember to breathe.

What 3 things will I do to help me accomplish this goal?
1) get out of the bed, stay out of bed
2) answer my phone when it rings
3) concentrate on my breath

What can get between me and my goal?
1) negative thoughts about past events
2) obsessive thoughts about recent negative experiences

I will do a little yoga.  I will do a little art.  I will journal a little, on paper.

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