The “she” I refer to in the title is the nurse practitioner.  I don’t see anything majorly wrong in my x-rays and the report actually refers to “minimum degeneration,” and “curvature as consistent with reported history.”  I don’t get it.  But then, maybe it’s just that I don’t know what I’m looking for…

There’s a curve there, but it’s not all big and dramatic like the lumbar curve was.  So, so what?

At any rate, I have an appointment with an scoliosis specialist later this month.  My neck feels some better, at least.  It certainly doesn’t feel like it did last week.

I guess I just don’t see what the big deal is because it doesn’t look like it’s changed that much since I was 28, the last time I had a check-up.  I mean, compared to the “normal neck x-rays” I’m able to compare to online, I do see that there’s a difference with mine, with the minor curve in the middle.  Maybe the beginnings of kyphosis?  Yuck.  I’ve always hated that word.

Wish my old surgeon was still in practice.  Then I wouldn’t worry about this at all.  The worst part is that I have no history with the doc I’ll see.  My first orthopedic surgeon saw me when I was a baby, and followed me from the time I was 7 until I was around 12.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We all know about my bipolar disorder.

But I thought I was good to go with the scoliosis issue.  The curve was bad, I had surgery for it, I grew an inch and a half when they straighened my spine and put in the Harrington rods, and I went on with life.  I barely gave it a second thought aside from random explanations through the years.

It’s been a good week for the most part mood-wise.  I felt good enough to do some of my yoga routine on Tuesday morning that I actually did all 45 minutes of the routine.  But 35 minutes into it, I felt something in my neck, something that hurt sharply.

I didn’t think about it much and finished out the routine.  The pain was annoying at first but as the day went on, the pain got more intense.  By bedtime, I struggled to find a decent sleeping position. Wednesday it hurt all day and Wednesday night, it was the same story only a little more intense at bedtime.  Thursday night, I woke up in pain around 2 am and couldn’t stand to lie there anymore:  the pain was a 9 on the scale when I was lying down.

So…I’ve been to the doctor today.  The nurse practitioner we see chalked it up to a muscle spasm from the exercise but sent me for an x-ray anyway given my history.  Then she sent me home with muscle relaxers.

The news is not good.  ”Significant” and “degenerative” were some of the words used in the report, the nurse practitioner told me.  I have no idea if they were used together or not.

She wanted to know who I had been to for the surgery, who would have my records.  See, that’s the thing about having surgery nearly 20 years ago…I don’t think my old records exist anymore.  I’ve got the only two x-rays I know of still in existence, one made 3 months pre-surgery and one from a month post-surgery.  But those records are still 19 years old.

*sigh*  There’s three things that are not going to be good out of this.  1)  The muscle relaxers are not working, which doesn’t give me much hope that it is actually a spasm causing the pain.  And if it’s not the spasm for the pain, it could be weeks with this pain, because it could be weeks before I can get in to see an orthopedist (or one I’ll settle for…my orthopedist back in the day set the bar pretty darn high).  And it would really suck if I end up having permanent immobility in my neck if I have to have surgery again.  Oh, and I nearly forgot the fourth yucky thing:  the pain is astronomically worse at my age than it was for a 13 year old who has surgery of this type.  *double sigh*

So my brain doesn’t behave as it should all the time. And my heart is wonky sometimes for some unknown reason.  My right eye is losing eyesight rapidly and it’s also starting to turn inward.  And now there’s this neck-back thing.

I’m falling apart at the seams.  I keep telling Jared my body wasn’t built to live to be 80 and he always brushes it off.  But I’m serious when I say it.  I got all the bad genes in the family.