I did relatively well over the weekend; I got the kitchen cleaned up and I did about 12 loads of laundry.
Then, while I waited for Nannie’s book to come in the mail on Tuesday, I got into a funk. My OCD tendencies kicked into overdrive and waiting for Nannie’s book was all I could think about.
What’s Nannie’s book?
I made a bound photo-book for my grandmother. It has a lot of pictures of her family from when she was a little girl, and from before she was born. I delivered it to her on Tuesday after it came and she said, “I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.” And she had tears in her eyes. That’s something, as I’ve never, ever seen her cry.
Anyway, all I could focus on was waiting for Nannie’s book on Tuesday. I got nothing done; I just sat around all day until the book arrived. I knew then that it was a bad omen.
Tuesday night, I forgot my medicines.
Wednesday was absolutely terrible. I slept all day, didn’t even get up to take a bath. It was ridiculous. Jared scheduled Liam’s well-check and I was in such a state that Jared had to come take Liam to his appointment. I’d forgotten my morning meds, my antidepressants, again. We stayed home from church Wednesday night. I was in a really, really bad mood.
Today has been some better. I slept in too long, but I did manage to make it to group therapy and I took my meds. I caught up on some emails and phone calls that I’d dodged while I felt bad. I’ve managed to stay out of the bed and I got both boys home from school successfully.
On an unrelated note, it looks like I may get my garage studio for lampworking yet. We’re going to pick up a ventilation system tonight from a friend. I must admit that after ignoring my bead-making for months now, I am excited about the idea of getting back into that hobby. Jared says he’ll work on the garage this weekend.
I was asked today what motivates me. It’s definitely my creativity. For sure.
33 years old on Sunday. I surely do dread it. My midlife crisis has hit early.
