NaBloPoMo writing prompt for Thursday, November 1, 2012: “Tell us your favorite quotation and why.”
My favorite quotation of the moment is, “Truth is given by God to us all in our time, in our turn,” from the musical version of Les Miserables.
Why? Hmmm…. well, it strikes me as being a tad more mature than my previous favorite quotation of all time, also from a musical, “Better to win by admitting my sin than to lose with a halo,” from Evita.
I think the quote from Les Miserables is the truth. It’s also from one of my favorite songs of the musical.
Okay, that’s as far as the prompt is going to take me.
Have I mentioned here that we’re moving? I don’t remember. We are moving, into a downtown Carrollton apartment. Oh wait, I do remember I mentioned it a little in an earlier post. At any rate, getting this house ready with this off-balance wife is, well, not happening much.
It’s complicated because I’m tired most days these days. Like, I was so tired today that I slept until 2 pm; that kind of tired. I missed group therapy because I slept through it. It’s time to go to the doctor, I know. This kind of tired is not from depression; I’ve been at this long enough to know the difference between plain tired and depressed.
So, tired and getting ready to move do not go together. It wouldn’t be so bad if I could stay on top of the mounds of laundry that this family generates. That’s after Jared and I each have donated two-thirds of our wardrobes.
Though I’m not exactly depressed, I am “off,” in several ways. It must be the stress of everything. It’s time to get back to basics…yoga (or at least some form of exercise), a steady routine (even if it has to be physically written out until it becomes habit)…
You know, I really didn’t understand how the people I met before I was approved for disability could have such lax schedules for themselves until I was approved for disability myself. But I’m here to tell you folks, it’s hard. It really is harder than it looks to just manufacture a schedule for myself, generating things to do out of nothing structured every day. It’s doubly hard because I thrive on super-structured days.
So here, I am, feeling lost. I looked back and there’s a pattern of these posts lately. And, *sigh*, I know what that means. It means that yes, I need to go to the doctor about my tiredness. But it also means I’m depressed.
God bless the Local Friendly Mental Ward. I was very intentional about my last program there and I’ve still got all my notes. I came up with my 10-point mood scale there. Right now I’m a 3, according to the criteria I set out. That’s not bad…I just need to tell my treatment team the next time I see them.
My treatment plan reads:
Problems:
- mood disorder
- coping skills
My Goals: Patient reports goal for treatment is to develop a chart that matches each symptom with an intervention.
And, that I did. Here’s what I came up with, in PDF:
Caroline’s 10-Point Mood Scale
This system makes it super-easy for me to rate my moods when necessary, which helps me control the illness to the extent possible.
It’s also way past time that I set out a schedule for the next few weeks while we get ready for the move. Then I can concentrate on fixing a regular schedule. That’s my project for the next hour or so.
I have finally gotten some laundry going this afternoon while I drafted this post. Somebody remind me that just looking at my Local Friendly Mental Ward notes makes me feel better, the next time I’m acting like this.
In my defense: first we were moving to Colorado, then we were not. Then, we were moving anyway. Then, we are doing some other things to ensure household survival. Plus my physical whatever’s-going-on. So, I really do have material excuses to be mentally “off.”
